Rad Chile!

¡Hola amigos y familiaaaaaaaaa!

You´ll never guess where I am!!! Actually I am in El Calafate again; what an overpriced dump. Apparently it is one of the most expensive towns in BsAs. Thank goodness for that; otherwise I would have had to found some sort of cult in order to finance the rest of the trip. Luckily we only arrived a couple of hours ago and we leave in another couple of hours, to go to a smaller (still touristy and expensive but more charming, apparently) village called El Chalten, in a little valley in the mountains, to chill out and do some hiking. I hope I see a cowboy!

Anyway! I am sure you are all desperate to hear about my adventures hiking in the Patagonian Andes!

Well, we had a grand old time. The bad news is: Ro hurt her knee a bit! Also she got some horrible blisters. So we wound up coming home a little earlier than we otherwise might have, and curtailing a little of the trek. But the good news is that we still spent four nights and five days in... The Patagonian Andes!!!

Rookie Mistake No. 1 - We accidentally tried to hike the W backwards.

Yeah so the bus that was supposed to take us to the start of the trail took us to the end of the trail and since we are rookies we just got off and started walking. I mean, we were aware that we were starting the trail from the end but it didn´t seem to matter that much. So instead of doing the ¨W¨ I guess you could say we did the... ¨Backwards W.¨

The first day was outrageously difficult, oh my goodness. We started out with a relaxed glide over a charming bridge and into the rolling Patagonian countryside. THEN WE CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN. Well, basically we struggled uphill with our ludicrously heavy packs for a good hour or two, each thinking to ourselves ¨Why are we doing this oh god what have we donnnnne.¨ It was by far the toughest hiking I have ever done.

And then we walked some more and had lunch. God, it was tasty. We ate at a refugio, which is where people stay when they are too soft to carry their own tent and food. (Alternatively: where people stay when they don´t want to kill themselves in the process of climbing a mountain with a week´s worth of food and shelter on their back). We were too hard for the refugios, though, so we walked on a couple of hours to our camp. It was a bit easier. Then we set up our tent.

Then we chilled out for a bit and left our packs in the tent while we climbed up to... the Torres del Paine! That means ¨The Towers of Pain.¨ Actually it means ¨The Towers of Paine¨ and I have no idea what ¨Paine¨ means, sorry. But it probably means ¨Pain¨ because that is what I felt for the hour it took us to get up there. It was basically vertical and I was clambering over rocks and sand and scree (I have no idea what ¨scree¨ means, probably ¨rocks and sand¨) like some kind of godforsaken daddy long legs.) Approximately once per minute I thought ¨This completely sucks and I am going to turn back.¨ I didn´t though. I was hoping Ro would suggest the same thing first and I could consent in a warm and kindly manner that suggested I was nobly hiding my disappointment.

Luckily the towers completely kicked. They were awesome. From a distance they looked cool and all, I guess, but man it was actually worth that ridiculous joint-wrenching climb. They were the most delicate pale stripes of silver and blue and white and the glacial lake underneath all shimmering aqua from the particles... ahhhh. Brilliant. We sat there for half an hour, three quarters of an hour... a pretty long time anyway. I took one million photos and they all look like a dog´s breakfast, nothing remotely resembling what we saw. Actually I am glad. It´s nice to have some things to hold close to your chest. And if I showed you the photos you might feel as if you had already seen all there was to see, and you wouldn´t bother doing the climb for yourself if you ever get there... so you´re better off that way, as Avril Lavigne is currently singing over the PA. Trust me on this one.

Then we cooked dinner and brushed our teeth and went to bed and I don´t want to pay for any more internet so that´s all you get to hear about the hike for now!

FACTS ABOUT CHILE!

-Puerto Natales has a number of kickin´ rad mom-and-pop style diners that make incredibly tasty and comforting cheap meals. I ate the best sandwich of my life there, at a brightly painted place called El Bote. It was huge - my first proper post-hike meal - and contained lettuce, tomato, cheese, guacamole, mayonnaise, mindblowingly tasty pickles... it was like magic. A magical sandwich.

-Supermarkets in Chile sell textured vegetable protein (TVP), but they call it ¨Carne de Soya¨ - meaning ¨Meat of Soy¨! How odd! Since it is vegetarian! Also it is cheaper than in Australia.

BONUS! MORE FACTS ABOUT ARGENTINA!

-I have heard ¨Total Eclipse of the Heart¨ twice since arriving - once in the airport and once in this very internet cafe. Pretty excited about this, both times.

-I have heard that ¨I´m Yours¨ song four or five times too. I´m actually starting to like it. Reggae is a pretty big deal here.

Okay! That´s enough for you!

Love love love
Lion